Johnny tells me that he’s just working on himself right now. My gut response is to assume he’s avoiding his feelings and hiding behind the false myth; productivity leads to enlightenment. I humor him.
“How are you working on The Self?” I ask Johnny.
“ I just want to really know myself, you know” he says. “ Be one with it, and feel complete and whole.”
I ponder his question. He’s assuming the self is knowable. More over he’s assumed that anything is knowable, which I’m not too sure about, but I digress. I can’t blame him. His train of thought runs along the tracks laid down by an entire era of modern psychodynamics. An era proliferated by marketers and pop psychology. This world insists that an individual must be made free from the punitive parental prohibitions which blocked the self from full expression. I could challenge him, and argue the notion of setting The Self free, in a static universal world, does more to reinforce the metanarratives of giant systems (i.e. corporate, postindustrial) that exist only to legitimize themselves. Modern psychodynamic therapy would only serve to mold an autonomous free-thinking individual into a happy consumer, the quest for ultimate self-expression a distraction from a deeper truth. The idea that his sense of self is not enough would continue to oppress him.
Johnny’s discomfort calls to action a change. Change is desirable when the status quo is riddled with unbearable pain or suffering. Power is needed to change. Virginia Satir, the mother of experiential therapy, might ask where one can find the power to catalyze chaos. Chaos, a necessary and natural bridge to a new status quo. An excellent question but first let’s examine the idea of power itself. One of Narratives core principles speaks to the inherent nature of power as an undeniable and pervasive force. A Narrative therapist believes that power can and should be used as a benevolent force, wherein subjugation is advocacy. Therefore, any submission to an individual’s story should only be submitted to only if it is good, and out of choice. It is a matter of justice.
Pressing to change, let's adopt a lens that Johnny’s story, as it is given, is singular. Than to rewrite his mind-frame, a pesky rigid thing, he could adapt and accept the possibility of many selves, and many worlds in which they inhabit. A portal to the changing winds of chaos. Winds that sail him to a world in which the self he seeks to know is unknowable.
This would certainly change the perspective. At the very least, change would have been accomplished, a win for productivity. And one for humor.
I fall back into empathy, of course. Rewriting the story is particularly difficult because to give up one’s perceived reality, however painful, is the accept uncertainty. Most everyone I know is averse to uncertainty. What a dreadful anxiety it is to ask, “What world is this? What is there to do in it, and which self is to do it?” Without the compass of action; to seek the actualized self, he drifts in the void of unanswerable questions. This is deconstruction.
I listen patiently, in humility. Carl Roger holds me, in unconditional positive regard, and I displace that onto him. I chose to keep hope. This is my vessel. Let our alliance be therapeutic.
My hope is that Johnny dives deeper into his own words, and the epistemology of his belief system which creates a reality where his singular self is not good enough as it is. He could then find the neglected stories he’s shut in the back room of his mind, the stories in which his desired reality is closer to his experienced one. Furthermore, he would begin to acquire the invaluable skill of authoring his own stories and gaining the power to adapt to the ever-changing mysterious energies of life, the universe, and everything.
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